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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25662310">2 AM Conversations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniacCoffee/pseuds/InsomniacCoffee'>InsomniacCoffee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Metalocalypse (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Dialogue Heavy, Friendship, Gen, It's just them being stupid and wholesome, No Plot/Plotless, Seinfieldian Conversation, Trope Bingo Round 15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:20:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25662310</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsomniacCoffee/pseuds/InsomniacCoffee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys have a very intelligent chat about things in the dining room.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Trope Bingo: Round Fifteen</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>2 AM Conversations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I failed last round due to emotional reasons so trying again! A lot of the dialogue here is just things I randomly wrote down that probably won't be used for a fic so enjoy! </p><p>Since it's very dialogue-heavy, they'll be speaking in order unless it says otherwise. So it should follow as Nathan, Pickles, Toki, Skwisgaar and Murderface to make this easier, though,  some lines should be obvious on who's saying who!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I seriously doubt that happened, Pickles.” Nathan said as he opened a new bag of Doritos.</p><p> </p><p></p><div>
  <p>“I swear! I went to a restaurant in L.A back in ‘85 and saw Sinatra myself! He was so fuckin’ cool.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Sinatras...whose he?" Toki asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Just some dildos musicians likes us." Skwisgaar answered with a shrug, "He's likes the Dethklok of his times."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"But he's known for jazz and that shit. We're known for metal." William pointed out.</p>
  <p>"Oh yeah...then I guess maybe Black Sabbath?"</p>
  <p>"Poison?"</p>
  <p>"AC/DC."</p>
  <p>"Abba."</p>
  <p>"Judas Priest."</p>
  <p>"Manowar."</p>
  <p>"We're not having this band discussion again, dudes! We had that last week, remember?" Pickles quickly interrupted the situation and everyone simply agreed as it was totally not metal to compare one band to another anyway. He yawned as he took a sip of his beer, "What time is it anyway?"</p>
  <p>Nathan shrugged as he looked at his phone very briefly to look at the time, "Uhhh 2 AM."</p>
  <p>"Wow, we've been heres for...hours, haven't we?" Toki stretched from his chair but didn't get up. He opened another half-burnt box of Lunchables he had next to him and began assembling a mini pizza.</p>
  <p>"Yeahs but it's not so bads anyways. Not likes we have anythings importants to do this lates."</p>
  <p>“We've pulled all-nighters before. Anyway, to change the topic, you decided to try a new hobby right, Nathan?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh ,uh, yeah. It’s kinda stupid though.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“What could be stupider than painting your nails?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fair. I like to go clearance shopping. It’s actually...kinda fun.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Creva-Corners...Cleaninvence? What’s that?” Toki asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s clearances, Toki." Pickles said slowly so he'd at least get the word,  "It’s like...when you don’t need to pay for something full price cause it’s either outdated or it’s been sitting on a shelf for so long not even your cat wants it.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh." Toki thought for a moment, "Can guitars be on clearances?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uhhh yeah, I guess so. But who would wanna buy First Act even on clearance?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Trues.”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Well, where do you find these...clear..ances?" Skwisgaar asked.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Oh uh, a lot of stores actually." Nathan answered, "You could find clearances everywhere. Though I kinda prefer Jo-Ann and Target."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Jo-Ann? The craft store?" Willaim groaned, "God, that place was boring when my grandma dragged me there last week!"</p>
  <p>"It's not so bad." He shrugged, "It's just kinda fun. Apparently there are things on clearance that you won't find in those really expensive stores."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Is that where you got me that Hawaiian shirt?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And my Rachael Rays knives set?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“And that cross-stitches kit?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"And my cookbooks?"</p>
  <p>"Yeah, pretty much. And apparently, with clearances, you can get a lot for just ten bucks."</p>
  <p>"Oh I wants to go to this clearances thing next time! Sounds like fun!" Toki poked a hole through his Capri-sun (thankfully he learned to not shove the Capri-sun in the microwave at least).</p>
  <p>"I wants to go too. Maybes I'll finds these better clearances than Toki." </p>
  <p>"Is it a competition now? I cut coupons and learned about this stuff since I was a kid, I'll kick all your asses!" William quickly added. Once the three had their hearts set on a competition together, there was no turning back from the eventual bloodshed. </p>
  <p>"Uh, guess I'll go too. Not to participate but I just wanna see how this ends." </p>
  <p>"Uh, alright. Guess we can go to Target this Friday." Nathan grimaced. But what's done is done; maybe there would be a good song out of the inevitable battlezone so that was something to look forward to, "Oh yeah, Skwisgaar how was that date? Is it..y'know, official?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Sucked and definitely nots! Turns out she was usings me to make her girlfriends jealous. And it worked but she didn't even want to do a threesome; just wanted me to stand there and jack off!"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Damn, did you just get...cockblocked?" Nathan paused slightly at the last word.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Is that what you call it when it’s a chick?” Pickles pointed out and the others began to throw in other alternatives for 'cockblocked' for women. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Maybe pussyblocked?” Skwisgaar suggested.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Why nots just ladiesblocked?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re all a bunch of idiots. Clearly it’s cuntblocked.” William answered. </p>
  <p>"Actually, cuntblocked sounds good." Nathan broke the chain quickly enough, mainly because he didn't feel like going through hours of trying to name something. </p>
  <p>"Cuntblocked sounds good to me too." </p>
  <p>"Me toos."</p>
  <p>"Same heres."</p>
  <p>"Good that we're all in agreement now. Cuntblocked is now the official word."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Guess so. Shit, we can probably use that for a lyric actually," Nathan began typing up something on his phone, "We should probably do this again...just talking and stuff..."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Don'ts we dos that everydays?" Toki pointed out.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Well yeah but dunno, having it scheduled sounds more organized or something. We can do it weekly."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"As long as it doesn't get in the way of my History Channel Documentaries, I'm fine with that," William answered. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Or my Fridays Disney Channel shows." </p>
  <p>"Or my sessions with those GMILFs." </p>
  <p>"Uhh, I usually get high around this time but whatever. We can just do it at the same time and place?" </p>
  <p>"Yeah, that sounds good. I guess 2 AM then every Wednesday or something." Nathan answered.</p>
  <p>"Uh...it's 3 PM, actually. Nathan, you read the fucking time wrong." William said as he looked at his watch.</p>
  <p>"Oh. Well, not like we had-"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Hey didn't we have a meeting with Charles today?" Pickles asked. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Shit." </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks so much for reading! If you are curious about what else I may have in store for future fics, my trope bingo list is <a href="https://insomniaccoffee.dreamwidth.org/1885.html">here!</a> and my tumblr is</p></blockquote></div></div>
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